About The Book

The writing of this book took me 13 years and 2 months. The many tears of love that ran down my face. If there is no love there are no tears. The long hours sitting at the computer. Lots of times just rereading what I had written or staring at the blank screen. I knew it was essential to get my story out. Moms and dads need to know that what they are feeling is absolutely normal. The grief of losing an adult child or any child, will turn your life upside down, inside out and you will experience agony like never before. You will feel like your life isn’t worth living. But it is. I learned I needed to take one day at a time, one step at a time, or one hour at a time. Eventually the days do get easier. You will never, ever forget. Your child is a part of you. Be persistent, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Highlight of The Book

To see the Love of a mother for her children. Being so ill she was confined to her bed. Knowing she was dying. Her thoughts still were about her babies. Not just physical pain but the mental trauma had to be over whelming for her.

I talk at length how I dealt with pain, or not. It is okay to not get out of bed after losing a child. It is okay to be mad at God. It is okay to yell, to scream to beat your pillow. It is okay to sit and cry until you feel drained, your eyes hurt, and your head aches. Hopefully you feel just a moment of relief. I have walked the thorny road. The grief is almost unbearable. You will come out on the other side eventually, with a new normal. The heartbreak never goes away. I have learned to live with it. I still get angry at God, but he also has brought me great comfort.

I have listed, poems and bible verses at the back of the book. Hopefully they will help ease the pain for you as they have for me. Be patience with yourself. You will never be the same, but you will survive.

Normal feelings during grief

Because grief is so distressful and devastating it can frighten us. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. What ever you feel is normal for you (as long as you are not wanting to hurt yourself). For me I just wanted to stay home. Regaining your ability to smile or laugh is not a betrayal to your child. Grief is an intriguing mixture of many emotions. Laughter or humor may provide some relief for your suffering.